Morning Walking

I'm increasingly aware of the language barrier at school mostly because I now have things I want to say and ask beyond basic courtesies. I want to be able to talk to the teachers and staff I've been working with for the past five months or so. They seem like really interesting people and the broken conversations in English only get a person so far. 

One thing I'll take from this whole experience is the beauty of speaking the same language; the worry of knowing what to say versus the ability to say words the other person can actually understand -- Before all this, I internalized a lot of things. I still will, but I've realized being in a foreign country, surrounded by people who mostly don't speak English, that I like casual conversation. Today, Sin Hyeon Gyeong, my second co-teacher, came into school to use the computer. It took all but five minutes for me to tell her about the rash I have on my forearms. 

Another aspect of the language barrier that completely frustrates me is the lack of finesse. Today, I was very close to tears over my schedule for next semester, partly due to how the news was broken to me.

I was working in my classroom when the phone rang. I don't have a co-teacher right now, so I knew it must be for me. I pick up, I hear my name, and a bunch of Korean. I made the assumption that I should go down to the teacher's room. I slide the door open, and yep. The entire teaching staff, Principal, and Vice Principal are there: staff meeting. I am gestured to sit down and am handed paperwork, all in Korean. Looking at it and sounding out some of the words, I could see that it was the grade assignments and classroom layouts for the upcoming year. 

The meeting lasted about thirty minutes. I waited until everyone got up from their seats before I stood up. I stalled at the water cooler before I started to head back up to my classroom when the Head Teacher stopped me. Okay, I sort of expected this -- I don't usually get invited to staff meetings. 

The sixth grade teacher then quickly comes up to me and asks if I know my schedule for next year. I didn't and was glad to finally have some clue about the upcoming year. But then she said, "You will teach at Do-ji School." Wait, what? It took a few minutes to understand because I'm not used to hearing the sixth grade teacher's English, but apparently I'll be teaching at a new school two days a week next semester. I felt upset and just aggravated. 

I know that I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy. I know that they don't need to converse with me about schedules or let me know about anything, but geez it would've been nice to have that information prefaced with the smallest something. New school means a whole new teaching staff, new set of kids, and an additional dose of Korean school expectations and schedule. I'm still not happy about it. And it means that I'm going to be missing two days of teaching at Doam a week. I like working at Doam Elementary, and I was actually feeling pretty good about the new school year. I have solid lesson plans for them and now I'm going to be missing two days a week.

Image from one of my morning walks to school

Incidentally, I know where Do-ji Elementary School is. Sin Hyeon Gyeong went to Do-ji when she was a kid and we drove past it once. It's even more rural than Doam and there's no way I'll be able to walk there. Walking to school in the morning is one of my favorite things. To trade that in for an inevitably stressful bus ride makes me even more disappointed. 

I knew about this aspect of teaching and living in Korea. Maybe I'm just not as flexible as I thought or maybe it's because everything is so far away that the small things have a bigger impact on me. Maybe it's because lesson plans take me forever and it feels like I'll be moving back to square one my first day at a new school. Maybe having Moonee or Sin Hyeon Gyeong tell me about Do-ji would've made it easier to swallow. Maybe not. 

It honestly feels like they're clipping my wings, just as I was figuring out how to fly. I think that is what's bothering me the most about this whole situation; it's making it difficult for me to really dig my heels into teaching. I want to do a good job, and for me that takes a bit more support than Korea can give. Working in Korea is so much about duty. Watching all the hoops Moonee had to jump through -- things are expected, not discussed. A certain amount of that comes with every job, but in Korea, that is the job. I'm not saying this way is "wrong" or "impossible." Though, it does yield a different sort of working environment based on obligation and making the best of a situation. 

I just don't want to have to go back to the "first day" setting. But I will because that is what the school wants me to do. I'm sure it'll all be fine. I'm better equipped than I was when I started at Doam. And I'll still be able to walk to school three days a week. Reset and go.